As Hall of Fame classes go it certainly doesn’t get a whole lot better than the bang up triumvirate of Michael Jordan, David Robinson, and John Stockton. Between the three of them they accounted for 34 All-Star games, 6 MVP’s, and 10 NBA Finals appearances (8 wins). So yea yea the accolades are many and they were the class of the 1990′s – but I have no interest in joining in on the love fest that you can find on ESPN.com, sportsillustrated.com, or really any other website in the world. Instead I’ll talk about the subject that means the most to me – me, and how each of these players attempted to ruin my youth and adolescence as a Suns fan:
Admiral? Sure David. Sure.
David Robinson -
Why do I dislike David Robinson? The bullets:
- His nickname was the Admiral, and you know what? He wasn’t a real Admiral, not even close. According to Wikipedia he maxed out at Lieutenant, Junior Grade – your career was based on lies “The Lieutenant, Junior Grade.”
- He looked like he was chiseled out of granite. I feel this set an unreasonably high standard for those of us who weren’t 7 feet tall.
- His teams knocked the Suns out of the playoffs in 1996, 1998, and 2003. Yes the Suns weren’t exactly title ready in any of those seasons but the point remains.
- He got injured in 1996-97 and as a result the Spurs were able to get the top pick in the 1997 NBA Draft and pick up Tim Duncan. I’m 68.5% certain he went down on purpose as a device to extend my misery into the late 2000′s. “Back” injury? Sure Lieutenant, Junior Grade.
- The Suns were so close to getting his rights in the ’87 draft lottery and instead got Armon Gilliam…who they eventually traded for Kurt Rambis. Gee Rambo or Lieutenant, Junior Grade – that’s a tough one.
- Robinson spent his career destroying a cavalcade of Suns star centers including Andrew Lang, Joe Barry Carroll, Mark West, Oliver Miller, Joe Kleine, Danny Schayes, Hot Rod Williams, Horacio Llamas (personal favorite), Mark Bryant, Loren Meyer, Luc Longley, Chris Dudley, Jake Tsakalidis, Jake Voskuhl, and Scott Williams. Pretty scary when you see all those names together isn’t it?
At least there’s still this:
John was SO Utah
John Stockton -
Oh and did I ever dislike John Stockton. Bullet me:
- He was one of the NBA’s premier point guards during a time in which I worshiped the ground that the esteemed Mayor Kevin Johnson walked on. Thus when he won 9 straight assist titles from ’87-88 until ’95-96, I was convinced all of those should have belonged to KJ (note : KJ did finish 2nd once, 3rd twice, 4th once, and 5th once). I also hold him responsible for forcing KJ to the All-NBA Second Team in ’93-94, and keeping him from more than his share of All-Star games.
- He led the Jazz past the Suns in the ’91 playoffs – which was the first full playoff series I can remember watching. Those are the kind of things you never let go.
- Those shorts. I mean wow. Those shorts. I’ve seen enough of John Stockton to last me a lifetime.
In the Land of the Exposed Thigh John Stockton is King
- Although he probably wasn’t, I feel like he was the inventor of that really annoying pump fake followed by jumping into your defender on a shot and that it typically resulted in a foul. To some that represented smart basketball – to me it was just someone who couldn’t score naturally.
- I never met anyone outside of Utah (or who was not a Jazz fan) who actually liked him.
Michael Jordan -
No intro necessary. Do I even need bullets? I’ll let YouTube speak for me:
Double Nickel in Game 4 of the ’93 Finals:
Game winner for the Wizards over the Matrix:
53 against the Suns in 1989:
Torching Phoenix in 1991-92:
33 points in the Finals clincher…sigh:
The guy owned absolutely everyone and was the catalyst for the last time I cried after a sporting event – not even the promise of a trip to the Sizzler for dinner made up for the tears that resulted from the 1993 NBA Finals. Damn you Michael Jordan.
But um…hey we hung one of the 10 losses on the ’95-96 Bulls!
In all seriousness these three guys were ridiculously talented and couldn’t be more deserving of the Hall of Fame. Welcome you jerks.
